This way when I pull out my Cold Stone Creamery gift card that I got two years ago at Christmas I can see that I have $5.34 left.  Just enough to get a small scoop with one topping!  Sweet…literally!

As I drove through Starbucks today with my giftcard the cashier looked at my card and said, “Oh…that is such a good idea…you wrote your balance on whiteout .  That is so smart!”   Why thank you cute little Starbucks girl!   Thank you for the complement and the inspiration for this blog post!

About a month ago I sent a quick note to friends and family stating that although the wedding business is my passion real life still happens and I was in need of some additional income.  Thanks a lot economy!!!  Low and behold I was contacted by a friend and fellow wedding planner Aletha Vandermaas of Pearls Events. 

Aletha is a first class wedding planner and is very well know in West Michigan and all over the nation.  She is an excellent blogger and marketer which really propelled her business into the powerhouse that it is today.  Not many internet savy brides-to-be in West Michigan haven’t heard of Aletha or Pearls Events.  Need I say more?!

Aletha, being a smart business woman, preferred that I work for her rather than give her business away.  I was thrilled!  How can you say no to an opportunity to work with one of the best!  To make a long story short I have been hired by Pearls Events on a contract basis for the 2010 season. 

Q & A for my current and potential clients:

Q: What is going to happen to Lucky Girl Weddings?

A: Nothing! It’s not going anywhere…I will continue with my business as usual and will still be working with my current brides and looking for additional clients for the 2010 and 2011 seasons.

Q: How will you keep up the dual presence? Won’t this be hard?

A: It will get a bit interesting if Pearls Events clients learn that I also own a wedding planning business but quite frankly I will have to cross that bridge when I get to it.  I am guessing that not one bride will be upset to find out I am a professional and that I have experience in this field.  I will work for myself and for Pearls Events this season and will re-evaluate what the plan is for the 2011 season when that time comes.

Q: Now that we know you work for Pearls Events too should be just go through that site to book you? 

A:No, if you want me and what Lucky Girl Weddings offers (price, packages, etc.) you would still go through my site.  If you find that you have a larger budget and you prefer the style and packages that Aletha offers then you can go through her and request that I be your coordinator. 

To sum it up this is a phenominal opportunity for me.  I  can’t wait to work for Aletha and work with my clients and see where God leads me!

This morning during our church service my husband and I were amazed to find out a juicy tidbit from history that I never knew.  I was even more fascinated about it because it was wedding related.  Our Pastor said that back in the Middle Ages people took their one bath of the year about April, when the weather was starting to warm up. Marriages traditionally took place in June and, by that time, people were starting to smell a bit ripe. Therefore the bride would carry flowers to help cover the offensive odor. I am not sure how true this is but it is an interesting theory! 

It has also been said that brides in the Greek and Roman eras included the use of herbs or flowers, often worn as garlands to bring good luck or ward off bad luck. It wasn’t until the mid-19th century that bouquets as we know them came into fashion.

So, would I suggest putting garlic and herbs in your bouquet….no!  Would I suggest taking a bath every day instead of once a year…YES! 

History has it’s place but please do not repeat it before your big day!

This November I am “hosting” I guess you could say my High School 10 Year Reunion!  It was almost a year ago now that the class President (and close friend of mine) asked our classmates if anyone was interested in planning it.   As you could imagine the response came back void. 

Again she asked if anyone would be interested in planning it.  Again no reply.  Ok, ok…I get it I am a planner, I will do it.  Jessica merely suggested it but I took the bait.  Stupid???  Yes and no.  It is alot more work than I thought tracking down 176 people…about 170 of which I have lost touch with.  But, in the end its been good for me. 

With everything else going on in my life I have squeezed it in and its made me more aware of what those 170 people have been up to and it’s made me appreciate where I came from and where I am going.

High School can be an awesome or scary memory but a 10 Year Reunion is an adventure.  Who cares “who’s who” anymore.  Who cares who is not married, who is chubby, who is still in their home town, who cares who moved an hour away because they didn’t want to be that far away from home but wanted to be…away from home.  (That last one is me if you couldn’t tell.)  WHO CARES!  We are all people trying to live our lives and having a ball doing it. 

I am looking forward to this reunion and I hope my other 1999 classmates are too.  We are all just getting so big!

Do you ever wonder what the Groom thinks about the engagement and wedding process?  I do!  So, my husband had the wonderful idea of interviewing men that are in one of three categories; (1.) wanting to propose, (2.) engaged, and/or (3.) married.  He went first and his interview can be found in my previous blog entries.  Next was my Dad.  He has been married to my Mom for 35 years.  I figured he would have some great advice about this subject. Here is what he had to say:

Q:  If someone were to ask how you met Mom how would your version of the story go?

A:  Your mother disagrees with me about how we met.  As she remembers it, her best girlfriend’s boyfriend introduced us to each other.  Actually, we actually met at a dance toward the end of our first semester at Indiana University.  I need to be understanding because your mother was probably so taken by love-at-first-sight (or my dancing prowess) that she can’t remember accurately.  It’s funny how time can change one’s memory of what really happened.  In any event, it was clear to me from the very beginning that your mother was someone I wanted to get to know better. 

Q:  How long did you know her before you started dating? 

A:  After we met at the dance it wasn’t long before I asked her out on an “official” date – maybe a week.  I’ll never forget the look on her face when I asked her out.  It was similar to the look on her face after her doctor recently said that it was time for a routine colonoscopy.  I said, “Hey, I’ve seen that look before.”  (I have a very good memory.)

Q:  As a couple when did you start talking about marriage, rings, and the long term “future” of your relationship? 

A:  I don’t think your mother started talking about marriage until we were seniors at IU and I was scheduled to move to Grand Rapids, MI to do an internship. 

Q: How long did you date before you were engaged?

A:  We dated almost four years before we were engaged. 

Q: How did you know she was “the one”?

A:  After dating your mother for almost four years in college it suddenly dawned on me, “Hey, she’s the one.”  I’m very quick like that. 

Q: Once you knew she was “the one”, how did you know when, where, how to propose?

A:  I had no clue. Seriously!  No clue whatsoever!  I was constantly winging it back then.

Q:  How long did it take you to plan your proposal? 

A:  It took no time because I had no plan. 

Q:  Did you know she would say yes?

A:  I had a pretty good idea, but one never knows for sure.

Q: Now be honest, were you nervous? 

A:  I’m sure I was.  It was all a blur to me – even back then.

Q: Did you ask her parents for her hand in marriage. Was this something someone told you to do or was this important to you personally as well?

A:  I did not ask her parents, but now I wish I had.  I was so clueless about this sort of thing.  In all fairness, I don’t remember ever learning how to ask someone to marry me in school, or from my friends, siblings, or parents. 

Q: Did you bring a trusted friend with you to pick out the ring?  How did you know she would like it? 

A:  Again, I didn’t have any money, so I couldn’t afford a ring.  I did buy your mother a beautiful diamond anniversary ring for our 25^th anniversary.  “Good things come to those who wait.”

Q: What were you feeling after you were engaged?

A:  I felt simultaneously happy, anxious, relieved, thrilled and I’m sure somewhat apprehensive.  “Are we really doing this?”  

Q: After you were engaged and the excitement died down a bit did you ever have a freak out moment?  Did you ever wonder, “What have I done?” or say to yourself, “My life is over as I know it!” 

A:  I remember just taking one step at a time.  Your mother doesn’t do “freaking out” so she was fine.   She was calm, cool and collected, and had it all under control.  I was almost totally unaware so we were a good match.  It all worked out. 

Q: If your answer was yes, even if it was mild, how did you get over this feeling?  What comforted you; your faith, family, friends, your fiancé?

A:  Your mother threatening to kill me if I ran away kept me focused.  Actually, knowing that my parents and your mother’s parents had such strong marriages was extremely helpful.  I don’t know what people do who have no positive role models in their lives.

Q: How was the wedding day for you?  Were you nervous, anxious, and impatient?

A:  I was like 007 – cool and confident, but I remember your mother looking like she was thinking, “OMG, what have I gotten myself into?”  She looked really nervous.   

Q: What would you have added or taken out looking back?

A:  I liked our wedding and wouldn’t have changed a thing.  It was elegant in its simplicity.  

Q: Now that it’s been over 35 years what still sticks out in your head? 

A:  What sticks out in my mind is that I was “flying by the seat of my pants.”  I was happy that we were getting married, but I didn’t fully comprehend the significance of it all. 

It’s ironic to me now that we are called upon to make one of the life’s biggest decisions at a time in our lives when many of us are least prepared to make it.  In our case it worked out well, but one look at the national divorce statistics and you realize that many folks aren’t so lucky. 

As far as the actually wedding ceremony is concerned – the bottom line is that everyone should use a wedding planner.  You need a calm, objective third party who has experience and who can think clearly, and can manage all of the details.  The absolute last thing you want is the drama, runaway emotions and/or panic that so often occurs when you, or a family member, try to do it alone.  (Thanks for the plug Dad!)

Q: What are some pieces of advice you could offer a man that wants to propose in a unique and fun way?

A:  Get help!  Even if you thinkyou have everything under control, you need an objective, outside perspective.  You need to get past your own emotions which can blind you to what is really going on.  (You might just see something like this offered through Lucky Girl Weddings in the future…Proposal Planning…wait and see!)

Q: What is your advice to men during the engagement process?

A:  Again, get help!  Talk to someone who knows what they are doing and who’s ego and emotions are not all tied-up in the process. 

Q:  Many studies and polls state that the first year of marriage can be full of trials and tribulations.  Do you agree with this? 

A:  For us it was like living in the land of milk and honey.  Actually, we went through the inevitable “trials and tribulations” of really getting to know one another.  Thank goodness we were patient with each other.  That’s the key. 

Q: What is your advice on how to have a happy marriage?

A:  For men, just do whatever you wife says.  All kidding aside, I would boil it down to a few simple rules, all of which I have at times broken, but which I believe in nevertheless: (1.) be patient, (2.) don’t over-react, and (3.) focus on the positive. 

Q:  How do you think you have changed the most from being married?

A:  I think your mother should answer this one, but hopefully I have changed from being a clueless, immature boy to a loving, caring, family-centered man who has been a good life partner and father to our children.  I am a better person because of our marriage.  I know your mother would agree that as a result of our marriage, our lives are better in ways too many to innumerate. 

Thank you Dad (& Mom) for letting me interview you!  Who’s next?  Readers, let me know if you think your hubby or fiancé would be a good interview candidate. (You do not have to be a past or current client to participate.)

Lucky Girl Weddings Package:  Day of Coordination (Won at a Ferris State University Hospitality Silent Auction)

Ceremony:  Forest Hills Presbyterian Church

Reception:  Noto’s Old World Italian Dining

Photographer:  HH Creations Photography

Florist:  GVL Floral by Gail VanderLaan

Cake:  Noto’s Old World Italian Dining Pastry Chef

DJ:  Complete Music

Rehearsal Dinner:  Cascade Winery

Lodging:  Crowne Plaza Hotel & Hilton Airport Hotel

Transportation:  Metro Car

Hair/Makeup:  Design 1

Details:

Erica and Ben are both alumni of Ferris State University’s Hospitality Programs.  I also am an alumnus of FSU’s Hospitality program.  We had all heard of each other and briefly met before hand but it was when they attended the 2008 FSU Hospitality Gala and bid on my businesses silent auction gift that we officially met.  The couple is currently living in the Chicago area.  They traveled back to Michigan on multiple occasions and during those times we got to meet to hash out the details of their April wedding.  It was a blast to work with fellow alumni and to see my professors and classmates at their wedding. 

I also had the help of two current FSU students in our program that asked to assist for school credit.  We met at Erica’s Aunt’s house and assisted her in getting ready and picture taking.  We then traveled to the church to set up there and help the ushers and attendants line up, seat guests, etc.

The ceremony went off without a hitch and then myself and my two assistants went to Noto’s for setup.  Noto’s staff, as always, had everything running and well prepared.  We decorated the room with their signature wine bottles and placecards.  My assistants had to leave at this point.  Soon after the guests started to arrive and the bridal party was downstairs in the wine cellar getting pictures taken. 

The event was beautiful and fun and the food was delicious!  Great job Erica and Ben for all your hard work leading up to your wedding day.  It was my pleasure working with you both and your families.  I can’t wait to hear about your honeymoon and new life together.  God bless!

Aaron of Captured Productions  emailed me in the beginning of March to introduce their newest idea…DVD wedding invitations!  BRILLIANT!  This idea is sure to catch on in this technology hungry world.  They are constantly working to stay ahead of the videography game and they are doing a fine job.  Kudos! 

Check out the DVD of Kaylie and Josh’s invite here!

The beautiful photo featured above was done by Sara Anthony Photography

She herself recently got engaged.  It will be fun to hear, via her blog, how her experience goes.  I am sure she will learn a lot more about the Michigan wedding scene and share it with all of us.  Thank you Lindsey for such a great site.

Have you ever wanted something so badly but you just can’t get around to making it happen? 

Do you know what you want you just keep making excuses as to why you can’t do it?  Do you feel like you are always getting ready to get started?  Have you ever held on to a dream or a thought for years on end thinking, “Yeah, I will do that someday” or “If I could just get past this then I could start that, which would lead to this…”. 

I am almost positive that anyone reading this knows what I am talking about.  We all go through this multiple times in our life whether its; getting the guts to talk to the ‘cool kid’ in class, asking that special someone out, quitting a dead end job, buying a house, moving across the country, starting your own business, or asking someone to marry you!  These are things that we want to do but sometimes just can’t seem to make happen.  The reason we don’t make these things happen is quite simply….FEAR of the unknown!  

I used to be held back by fear of the unknown.  My life was lead by what was comfortable, sure, and easy….I got by and was “happy” with my choices.  I told myself that I was doing ”all I could do” and where I was in life was “fine for now”.    Don’t get me wrong I had a great family, awesome friends, some fun relationships, etc.  I went through high school and college creating amazing memories of things I will never forget.  After college I moved across the country to work and live in Colorado.  Now that was fun!  (Miss you Vail and friends!)  Some might say that was gutsy and an adventure.  Maybe it was…but it wasn’t until I moved back to Grand Rapids that I really started to live without fear.

When I moved back “home” to Michigan I realized that I needed something, someone.  That someone was God.  Plain and simple I needed Jesus back in my life.  BEFORE YOU ROLL YOUR EYES AND CLICK AWAY…I just want to say that you can still get something out of this post even if you are not a Christian!  I left my relationship with God behind when I was in high school and getting back to it took a lot of work.  Once I was back on track the fears I had (some mentioned above) turned into some of the best opportunities I will ever have. 

I would never have started my own Wedding Planning business if I let fear of the unknown rule my life. 

I would never have fallen in love if I let fear of the unknown rule my life.

I would never have gotten married if I let fear of the unknown rule my life.

I would never have gotten a dog if I let fear of the unknown rule my life.  (OK, so that one isn’t as serious as the others but still applies!)

My point….fear sucks!  Tell fear to take a hike and move on with your life already.  There will NEVER be a perfect time for ANYTHING.  Just do what your heart is telling you NOW.  Fear is almost always standing in front of the door to all the awesome things God has planned for you!  Push it aside and shut the door behind you. 

How does this apply to brides….maybe it doesn’t  but it was on my heart to write about.  If you can’t seem to start planning your wedding…just do it.  Check one item off your list and you are one step closer to your dream wedding.  (Or call me and I will do it for you! Wink wink….)

More on the first steps you can take in the next post…

Here is what he had to say:

Q: If someone were to ask how we met how would your version of the story go?

A:We met in college.  I always knew you wanted me. (Mary: Oh sure!) We were introduced my junior year when my roommates and I lived next to your best friend Miriam.  You were visiting Miriam, that was the first time we met.  Miriam was trying to set us up from the first day we met.  It wasn’t until around July 4th of 2006 that we really “met” and spent time together.  I remember coming to pick you and Miriam up from the dock in my boat and feeling a little nervous.  When I got up to greet you I didn’t even know if I should try and hug you shake hands, or what…I wanted to play hard to get.  I think we ended up high fiving or something awkward like that.  That night I asked you to come over and hang out, but I wasn’t there when you got my house and you ended up hanging out with my parents and sister for a while.  I knew if you could put up with them you were a keeper! 

Q: How long did you know me before we started dating? How long did we date before we were engaged?

A: Like I said before, we had known each other for years but not very well.  We only saw each other for maybe an hour at a time and it was always when we were in big groups.  We started dating in mid July 2006 and were engaged 7 months later.   

Q: So, after dating me for 7 months how did you know I was “the one”?

A:  When I was with a previous girlfriend…bare with me, it gets better…I was struggling to understand if she was the one or not.  I would pray about it and toward the end of our relationship God told me that once I broke up with her I would meet the girl of my dreams.  It wasn’t like I heard it once, I heard it over and over again.  So when I broke up with her, we started dating shortly after and we really clicked.  I asked God, “Is she the one you were talking about?”  After 6 months of dating God said, “Yes she is the one, now what are you going to do about it?”

Q: Once you knew I was “the one”, how did you know when, where, how to propose?

A:  You had always said you wanted a special Valentines Day because you never had one.  I thought that if we got engaged on Valentines Day that would be pretty special.  Also I knew that you wouldn’t be suspicious of all the special treatment because of the Holiday. You had not clue what was going down!

Q: Because we never talked about marriage, rings, the long term “future” of our relationship how did you know I would say yes?

A:  How could you say no!  I knew because I had faith that God was right.  I loved you and knew you loved me and that’s pretty much it.

Q: Weren’t you nervous? 

A:  In the beginning of the day I was a little nervous.  Kinda like, wow, I can’t believe this is happening.  But after that I was excited and the ring was burning a hole in my pocket.  I was pretty calm all the way up till I asked you then I think I started to shake.  (Mary: Yep, you were shaky!)

Q: You asked my parents for my hand in marriage. Was this something someone told you to do or was this important to you as well?

A:  My parents raised me to believe that that was the right thing to do.  I also talked with my friends and they reinforced the fact that it was best thing to do.  I was the most nervous doing that just cause I didn’t know your parents very well.  I didn’t know what they would say and I had to drive 3 hours to get there from work that night.

Q: I know your a procrastinator so how long did it take you to plan this proposal?

A:  It took me 10 days.  That is 10 days before we got engaged I was looking at rings and I had not figured anything else out. 

Q: How did you know what I would like in regards to how we got engaged?  For example that I would want it to be private instead of public or that I would like it to be at your house instead of in a park, etc.?

A:  I talked with your best friend Miriam, and girls that were similar in personality to you.  They said to ask in private and that is what I was leaning towards anyway.

Q: Did you bring a trusted friend with you to pick out the ring?  How did you know I would like it?  (Mary: It was the PERFECT ring for me, I don’t know how he did it!)

A:  Yes I did bring a female friend of ours with me to help.  I honestly had an idea in my head of what I thought you would like.  I knew you liked the classic and simple style, not gaudy and you liked white gold.  I just picked something that was simple and elegant and I was right. 

Q: What were you feeling right after we got engaged?

A:  I was ready to have a cigar.  I was really excited you said yes, and relieved that all the planning and waiting was done.  I was ready to get married, now!

Q: After we got engaged and the excitement died down a bit did you ever have a freak out moment?  Did you ever wonder, “What have I done?” or say to yourself, “My life is over as I know it!”. 

A:  I had this freak out moment before we got engaged.  My freak out moment was right around February 4th right before I really started to plan out our engagement.  It was a freak out for a day where I started to have doubts and stupid thoughts in my head. 

Q: How did you get over these feelings?  What comforted you; your faith, family, friends, me?

A:  My friends slapped me around and said, “Get a hold of yourself, you know she is the right one don’t screw this up!”  My faith was a huge part because God actually told me you were the one, so who was I to question that. 

Q: How was the wedding day for you?  Were you nervous, anxious, impatient?

A:  I am a very impatient person.  So that was me.  I was anxious and ready to go.  I was not nervous, ask Pastor Duane.

Q: What would you have added or taken out looking back?

A:  I do wish we would have been able to make it around at the reception to talk with more people.  I felt bad that we weren’t able to.  Also maybe we could have added a receiving line so we could have at least said hi to everyone.

Q: Now that it’s been over a year what still sticks out in your head?  Besides what a beautiful bride I was of course…wink, wink!

A:  The thing that sticks out is how much fun it was, and that there weren’t any problems. (Mary: Thanks for the wedding planning plug honey!)

Q: What are some pieces of advice you could offer a man that wants to propose in a unique and fun way?

A: First,  don’t talk to your future wife about it, and don’t ring shop together!  The best way is to research on what she likes by talking to her friends for ideas.  Do it on a day where she won’t be able to figure out thats what your doing.  Just put a lot of thought into it and don’t go cheap.

Q:  Many studies and polls state that the first year of marriage can be full of trials and tribulations.  Do you agree with this? 

A:  Yes, absolutely.  We did not live together before we got married so that took some getting used to.  You like things a certain way and so did I (Mary: yeah…messy!).  I wanted to do things and they clashed with what you wanted to do.  You end up arguing about where pictures go, or how to put dishes in the dishwasher…you know the important stuff! 

Q: What is your advice on how to have a happy first year of marriage?

A:  Make God the center of your relationship for sure.  Since we both have a relationship with God we come to Him with our problems and He helps us work them out.   

Q: How do you think you have changed the most from being married?

A:  I am becoming a more patient and selfless person.  I also have a lot more joy in my life. 

Thank you honey for letting me interview you!  Who’s next?  Next is a person that is very near and dear to me.  He has also been married for over 35 years!  I am sure we will all learn something from him.  Stay tuned for next weekends post.  See the “Ask the Groom” blog category section for all interviews.  Readers, let me know if you think your hubby or fiance would be a good interview candidate.  There is a nice gift for you AND him if you get involved.  (You do not have to be a past or current client to participate.)