Ask the Groom: Interview #1
Do you ever wondered what the Groom thinks about the engagement and wedding process? I do! So, my husband had the wonderful idea of interviewing men that are in three categories; Wanting to propose, engaged, and married. Because it was his idea and he is so accessible I interviewed him first.
Here is what he had to say:
Q: If someone were to ask how we met how would your version of the story go?
A:We met in college. I always knew you wanted me. (Mary: Oh sure!) We were introduced my junior year when my roommates and I lived next to your best friend Miriam. You were visiting Miriam, that was the first time we met. Miriam was trying to set us up from the first day we met. It wasn’t until around July 4th of 2006 that we really “met” and spent time together. I remember coming to pick you and Miriam up from the dock in my boat and feeling a little nervous. When I got up to greet you I didn’t even know if I should try and hug you shake hands, or what…I wanted to play hard to get. I think we ended up high fiving or something awkward like that. That night I asked you to come over and hang out, but I wasn’t there when you got my house and you ended up hanging out with my parents and sister for a while. I knew if you could put up with them you were a keeper!
Q: How long did you know me before we started dating? How long did we date before we were engaged?
A: Like I said before, we had known each other for years but not very well. We only saw each other for maybe an hour at a time and it was always when we were in big groups. We started dating in mid July 2006 and were engaged 7 months later.
Q: So, after dating me for 7 months how did you know I was “the one”?
A: When I was with a previous girlfriend…bare with me, it gets better…I was struggling to understand if she was the one or not. I would pray about it and toward the end of our relationship God told me that once I broke up with her I would meet the girl of my dreams. It wasn’t like I heard it once, I heard it over and over again. So when I broke up with her, we started dating shortly after and we really clicked. I asked God, “Is she the one you were talking about?” After 6 months of dating God said, “Yes she is the one, now what are you going to do about it?”
Q: Once you knew I was “the one”, how did you know when, where, how to propose?
A: You had always said you wanted a special Valentines Day because you never had one. I thought that if we got engaged on Valentines Day that would be pretty special. Also I knew that you wouldn’t be suspicious of all the special treatment because of the Holiday. You had not clue what was going down!
Q: Because we never talked about marriage, rings, the long term “future” of our relationship how did you know I would say yes?
A: How could you say no! I knew because I had faith that God was right. I loved you and knew you loved me and that’s pretty much it.
Q: Weren’t you nervous?
A: In the beginning of the day I was a little nervous. Kinda like, wow, I can’t believe this is happening. But after that I was excited and the ring was burning a hole in my pocket. I was pretty calm all the way up till I asked you then I think I started to shake. (Mary: Yep, you were shaky!)
Q: You asked my parents for my hand in marriage. Was this something someone told you to do or was this important to you as well?
A: My parents raised me to believe that that was the right thing to do. I also talked with my friends and they reinforced the fact that it was best thing to do. I was the most nervous doing that just cause I didn’t know your parents very well. I didn’t know what they would say and I had to drive 3 hours to get there from work that night.
Q: I know your a procrastinator so how long did it take you to plan this proposal?
A: It took me 10 days. That is 10 days before we got engaged I was looking at rings and I had not figured anything else out.
Q: How did you know what I would like in regards to how we got engaged? For example that I would want it to be private instead of public or that I would like it to be at your house instead of in a park, etc.?
A: I talked with your best friend Miriam, and girls that were similar in personality to you. They said to ask in private and that is what I was leaning towards anyway.
Q: Did you bring a trusted friend with you to pick out the ring? How did you know I would like it? (Mary: It was the PERFECT ring for me, I don’t know how he did it!)
A: Yes I did bring a female friend of ours with me to help. I honestly had an idea in my head of what I thought you would like. I knew you liked the classic and simple style, not gaudy and you liked white gold. I just picked something that was simple and elegant and I was right.
Q: What were you feeling right after we got engaged?
A: I was ready to have a cigar. I was really excited you said yes, and relieved that all the planning and waiting was done. I was ready to get married, now!
Q: After we got engaged and the excitement died down a bit did you ever have a freak out moment? Did you ever wonder, “What have I done?” or say to yourself, “My life is over as I know it!”.
A: I had this freak out moment before we got engaged. My freak out moment was right around February 4th right before I really started to plan out our engagement. It was a freak out for a day where I started to have doubts and stupid thoughts in my head.
Q: How did you get over these feelings? What comforted you; your faith, family, friends, me?
A: My friends slapped me around and said, “Get a hold of yourself, you know she is the right one don’t screw this up!” My faith was a huge part because God actually told me you were the one, so who was I to question that.
Q: How was the wedding day for you? Were you nervous, anxious, impatient?
A: I am a very impatient person. So that was me. I was anxious and ready to go. I was not nervous, ask Pastor Duane.
Q: What would you have added or taken out looking back?
A: I do wish we would have been able to make it around at the reception to talk with more people. I felt bad that we weren’t able to. Also maybe we could have added a receiving line so we could have at least said hi to everyone.
Q: Now that it’s been over a year what still sticks out in your head? Besides what a beautiful bride I was of course…wink, wink!
A: The thing that sticks out is how much fun it was, and that there weren’t any problems. (Mary: Thanks for the wedding planning plug honey!)
Q: What are some pieces of advice you could offer a man that wants to propose in a unique and fun way?
A: First, don’t talk to your future wife about it, and don’t ring shop together! The best way is to research on what she likes by talking to her friends for ideas. Do it on a day where she won’t be able to figure out thats what your doing. Just put a lot of thought into it and don’t go cheap.
Q: Many studies and polls state that the first year of marriage can be full of trials and tribulations. Do you agree with this?
A: Yes, absolutely. We did not live together before we got married so that took some getting used to. You like things a certain way and so did I (Mary: yeah…messy!). I wanted to do things and they clashed with what you wanted to do. You end up arguing about where pictures go, or how to put dishes in the dishwasher…you know the important stuff!
Q: What is your advice on how to have a happy first year of marriage?
A: Make God the center of your relationship for sure. Since we both have a relationship with God we come to Him with our problems and He helps us work them out.
Q: How do you think you have changed the most from being married?
A: I am becoming a more patient and selfless person. I also have a lot more joy in my life.
Thank you honey for letting me interview you! Who’s next? Next is a person that is very near and dear to me. He has also been married for over 35 years! I am sure we will all learn something from him. Stay tuned for next weekends post. See the “Ask the Groom” blog category section for all interviews. Readers, let me know if you think your hubby or fiance would be a good interview candidate. There is a nice gift for you AND him if you get involved. (You do not have to be a past or current client to participate.)
Tags: Blog, brides, engagement, groom, Proposals, Wedding Planner